Our Weekly Church Bulletin

The Extraorindary Life

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July 2008

How To Eat Gourmet Pretzels (July 6) -I was on the plane for over 3 hours on my trip out west. The cost cutting measures airlines have taken has drastically changed the "airline food" served while in flight. It was not too many years ago that I remember being served a full and rather tasty meal while flying the friendly skies, but not any more. Perhaps there are some long overseas flights that serve food, but the cross-country flights skimp considerably on the food served. During the three hour cruise, we got served drinks twice and with each serving we received a diminutive snack …

Lessons I Learned at Camp (July 13) - I drove home on a Saturday afternoon four hours, fighting sleep and thinking about how nice it would be to fall into a soft bed. The most common question I was asked on Sunday morning was "Did you survive?" Why? I had spent the previous week as a counselor at a summer camp with 130 kids. There were about 15 counselors to 130 kids. Pretty scary odds. Did I survive? I did better than that, I thrived! That week I learned some great lessons that remain with me now several years later.…

Mine! Mine! Mine! Mine! Mine! (July 20) - The volleyball tournament in the Hubers' backyard was in full swing. There were 3 teams with 5 team members each. It was a hot and muggy July evening, the sweat was rolling and the playful chatter was incessant. In the midst of a volley, it was not uncommon to hear the shout of "Mine!" "Mine!" as the ball soared over the net.…

The Real Thing (July 27) - I was 21 years old and it was the summer between my undergraduate studies and my first year of law school at Indiana University in Bloomington, Indiana. I attended I.U. for three years straight, taking classes Fall, Spring and Summer, in order to get to law school one year earlier. While the two summers before I had taken classes, first year law classes did not begin until the Fall, so this summer I had to find a job.…

June 2008

Starry, Starry Night (June 1) - It was a glorious Indiana summer. I was a kid of 14 and I was spending the week at the Ransburg Boy Scout Camp on Lake Monroe near Bloomington. At 14, I was one of the older, experienced boys in the troop, a veteran of scout summer camps, as I had first become a Boy Scout at 11 years old. …

Order in Chaos (June 8) - "The heavens declare the glory of God; and the firmament shows his handiwork" (Psalm 19:1). With the increase of man's knowledge comes the constant confirmation of the Psalmist's statement. The evidence continues to build that this universe is not the product of chance but a system of order and design. The design of the universe points to a designer.…

The Road To Hell (June 15) - I admit it. I am spoiled. If I get in a line of a couple of cars while driving around Connersville, I get a little cranky. I can't understand how so many people can be on the road at the same time, especially with gas prices exceeding $4.00 a gallon. Who are all these people and where do they have to go when I have to be somewhere.…

The Meadows & The Mountains (June 22) - I am in Las Vegas and the temperature outside the air conditioned minivan I am driving reads 113º. The air conditioner has been going full blast ever since we left the airport. Even after leaving the minivan in a dark parking garage, for several hours and the sun has gone down, the temperature finally cooled down to a frosty 99º. "But its a dry heat," I have heard people say over and over again. So that means you get baked to death instead of steam cooked.…

Life's Simple Pleasures (June 29) - Life's simple pleasures are the best, All the little things that make you smile and glow, All the things you know, Life's simple pleasures are the best, Are the best, In all the world. Sometimes it is just amazing how something so simple, almost banal, can capture your attention and stick in your mind. The lines above are from a television commercial in the early 1980s.…

May 2008

"Another Layer of Danger" (May 4) - Listening to teenage boys banter back and forth is a lesson in another culture, perhaps even another world. I always learn something from them, usually humorous, always entertaining. Last Monday night I was the designated driver for three young men on a trip to BWs, as they call it, or more widely known as Buffalo Wild Wings…

Remnants of Past Lives (May 11) - I walked into the past when I walked into the house. It is a large two story yellow brick house that sits on a broad main street just north of downtown Muncie, Indiana. The house is in the neighborhood of Ball State University, where the houses are older, classic well built homes. It is easy to imagine generations of University facility and staff passing through the homes of this area. The house was assessed at $121,000, but my clients obtained it for less than half as much…

On The Edge of an Epiphany (May 18) - A sense of wonder overtakes me unexpectedly in unguarded moments. It usually comes when I am sitting in the midst of a crowd. I look into the varied faces of those before me and awe silently slips into my soul. Just beyond the periphery of my senses, evading the grasp of my comprehension, lurking in the shadows of my consciousness lies a mysterious and profound revelation. I am a wide-eyed child on the edge of an epiphany.…

Due Diligence (May 25) - I drove about two hours to put a sign on the lot, then I turned around and headed back home. I was only about 20 minutes down the road when I got a call from the office. "The trailer park manager just called," Heather began, "He wanted to know why we put a sale sign on Bernie's property. So he told me he took the sign down." "But I own that property, not Bernie," I said in disbelief. "Tell him to put the sign back!"…

April 2008

"The Hidden Spoon" (April 6) - I have known Joshua Welch all his life. His parents, John and Gloria Welch were invited to my wedding. That wedding took place on a rainy Saturday, in Brown County State Park, on May 12, 1979. I wondered why John and Gloria did not show up for the wedding. I found out a few days later that two days before, Gloria gave birth to twins, Joshua and David. …

"The Grass on the Other Side" (April 13) - Some days I feel like that occasional cow or horse I see as I am driving down the road. You know the ones, they stand with an open field of green grass behind them with their necks stretched out through a fence as far as possible reaching for the grass just beyond their mouths. Just like those animals, just like so many of us, I deceive myself into believing that the grass is always greener on the other side. …

"God in the Silence" (April 20) - Silence. There is not much of it these days. So we don't deal with it very well. The TV chatters on with one silly talk show after another. People haul their boom boxes to the beach so that they do not have to live in the silence between the rolling of surf and the crying of gulls. Go to sports game and at the slightest break in the action, you will be greeted by an aggressive, in-your-face form of recorded rock music. …

"Six Degrees of Separation" (April 27) - The moment Michelle and her husband walked in the door of my office I was struck by her appearance. She looked so much like my youngest sister, Sherry, she could have been her twin. Michelle had called my office and asked for an appointment to see me. She lived in West College Corner, Indiana, which lies on state line between Indiana and Ohio. She had lived in Union County, Indiana for most of her life. She had a problem with her mother's estate and needed my advice. …

March 2008

"A Slippery Slope" (March 2) - Travis lives on a hill. Not on top of the hill, but on the side of a hill. The street in front of his house lies well above the first floor level. Sitting in a car on the street one can see directly in a window on the second story. From the street down to the house is a steep bank. The front door of the house is reached by descending a steep stairway. Travis parks his car just off the street in front of his house. …

"In Like A Lion…" (March 9) - I spent all day Friday in a class in Indianapolis. When I left Connersville, at about 7:30 AM, there was no sign of snow. But I kept getting regular reports from Connersville all day; "it's starting to come down"; "the wind is blowing hard;" "the roads are getting slick"; "they are going to let school out early"; and finally, "we are under a blizzard watch." With each update I would gaze out the glass doors of the hotel and see dry pavement and no falling snow, flurries or otherwise. …

"Goad Kicking" (March 16) - She was mad and she wanted her pound of flesh. Yes, I had to agree that she had been wronged. Yes, I thought that the person who had done this to her should be punished. He had cheated and stolen a lot of money from her and she wanted him to pay it back and suffer, greatly. …

"Pyrrhic Victories" (March 23) - "One more such victory will undo me!" King Pyrrhus of Epirus (318-272 B.C.), upon seeing the crippling cost of his casualties after defeating the Romans in two battles during the Pyrrhic War, at Heraclea in 280 B.C. and Asculum in 279 B.C.. I won the argument and the court case. I won $195.00. But at what cost? …

"Backup, Backup, Backup" (March 30) - "Oops" is the most terrifying sound one can make while sitting in front of a computer. Something was done or something happened that elicited that sound that was not good. If you see a BSoD (commonly known as the "Blue Screen of Death" from the blue error screen displayed by Microsoft Windows, after encountering a critical system error which can cause the system to shut down to prevent damage) or the message "DISK BOOT FAILURE - INSERT SYSTEM DISK AND PRESS ENTER", the 'oops" may be followed by a depressing sinking feeling. …

February 2008

"The Conversion of An Atheist" (February 3) - An atheist was walking through the woods and admiring the beauty surrounding him. "What majestic trees! What a powerful river! What beautiful animals!" he said to himself. As he walked alongside the river he heard a rustling in the bushes behind him and he turned to look. Suddenly a big grizzly was charging towards him. The atheist began running as fast as he could away from the bear. As he looked over his shoulder, he saw that the bear was closing in on him. He ran faster. …

"Deep Thoughts" (February 10) - Between 1991 and 1998, the television comedy show, Saturday Night Live used as a filler between sketches a series of short narrations called "Deep Thoughts by Jack Handey". Each "Deep Thought" was introduced by regular SNL player, Phil Hartman, with the words, "And now, Deep Thoughts, by Jack Handey…", and then a short few lines were read by the actual author, Jack Handey. …

"I'm not a doctor, but I play one on TV." (February 17) - One of the most famous lines ever delivered in a television commercial was spoken by actor Robert Young in an aspirin commercial. Young was well known for his leading role in the popular television series, "Marcus Welby, M.D.." Young was chosen by Sanka to be its advertising spokesman touting its "healthier" decaffeinated coffee. Young's famous line, spoken while he was wearing a lab coat was "I'm not a doctor, but a play one on TV." …

"Aunt Nell" (February 24) - Aunt Nell was an old, odd, eccentric woman when I was a kid in the sixties. Nell was her first name. I have no idea what here last name was. I asked my 90 year old grandmother, Aunt Nell's last name and she had no idea either. All my life she was always called just "Aunt Nell." …

January 2008

"Are You The One?" (January 6) - There once lived a king many years ago who was a good man and a good king. He had arisen out of humble origins to become king because of his deep faith in God and courage in facing all his adversaries. He was honored and praised by men and God and he was successful in whatever he did. …

"Facing Each Day" (January 13) - The past few weeks have been stressful. A couple of days I woke believing that one of my best friends was dead. When I found out that he wasn't dead, but hiding out from his family and friends because of his sinful conduct, I would wake up with a different kind of stress, a concern for his life and his soul. …

"Always Look On The Bright Side of Life" (January 20) - There were two boys who were twins, one was an incurable optimist, one was a determined pessimist. The parents were worried about the extremes of behavior and attitude and finally took the boys in to see a psychologist. The psychologist observed them a while and then said that they could be easily helped. …

"Nobody Knows the Trouble I've Seen" (January 27) - There was a town, your average, run of the mill town which had its share of ups and downs like every other town. The inhabitants of this town from the least to the greatest, each had their triumphs and troubles, but all any of them could see were their own troubles. Everyone was unhappy with their lot in life. Every night each would raise their voice to the heavens and complain about their troubles. …